Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm your Doll

I’m your doll...
Please, don’t break me
But your words,
They shatter me just the same
I’m your doll...
Please, don’t leave me
But I’m cast aside,
You hurt me just the same

Just a doll… Leave me for dead
Just a doll… No emotions left
Just a doll… Tell me what I see
Just a doll… Pretend that I can’t feel

Your smile was once granted
So I waited for you
Rotting in this tomb
Still a doll
I’ll stay the same
You count on this
Believing you...
Your empty promises

Just a doll… Leave me for dead
Just a doll… No emotions left
Just a doll… Tell me what I see
Just a doll… Pretend that I can’t feel

My body…Cracked and broken
My heart… Non-existent
My spirit… Torn away
Running on empty
But I’ll love you just the same

>.< Dear god I suck :(

Friday, September 24, 2010

The Gate Keepers

"The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers."

-Arab proverb

Before words get past the lips, the first gatekeeper asks, "Is this true?" That stops a lot of traffic
immediately. But if the words get past the first gatekeeper, there is a second who asks, "Is it kind?" And for those words that qualify here too, the last gatekeeper asks, "Is it necessary?"

With these three on guard, most of us would find very little to say. Here I think it is necessary to make exceptions in the interests of good company and let the third gatekeeper look the other way now and then. After all, a certain amount of pleasant conversation is part of the artistry of living. But the first two gatekeepers should always be on duty.

It is so easy to say something at the expense of another for the purpose of enhancing our own image. But such remarks - irresistible as they may be - serve only to fatten our egos and agitate others. We should be so fearful of hurting people that even if a clever remark is rushing off our tongue, we can barricade the gate. We should be able to swallow our cleverness rather than hurt someone. Better to say something banal but harmless than to be clever at someone else's expense.

~This post is from
~Eknath Easwaran's book' Words to Live By'

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Independently Happy

A brief bout with a razorblade cut me
I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me
I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me
In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done

I'm. So. Proud. Of. What. I've. Done.
Now. Forget. You. Ever. Mattered.

Yeah, I'm really clean if you know what I mean
Except for this recurring dream
Of losing total feeling
While the windmill's squealing
The windmill's squealing

I paint to kill the dead saints
I paint to make it clear
My colors run in blue and gray
But they give hope to someone dear

Give. Hope. To. Me. Now.
Paint. A. Picture. With. Blood. For. Me. Now.
Show. Me. What. I. Mean. Now.

Why do you come here, why?
Aren't you moving on to someone new
Can't you face the facts, no sense in going back
You can't erase or take the things of all the things I lack

Of. All. The. Things. I. Lack.
I. Can. Do. This. Too.
Moving. On. To. Someone. New.

When I had you
When your love would pull me through
When nights were long
When your love would make me strong
When time, regretful to say, in the gentlest way over you
Maybe I should follow your lead and turn as is it never meant a thing to me

Like. And. Hate. And. All. The. Things. You. Say. To. Me.
Turn. Away. I'll. Follow. Your. Lead.
Wish. You. Didn't Mean. A. Thing. To. Me.

I drive to the edge of my considerate plain.
I apologize to the people I hurt on the way.
I wipe the slate clean.
I kick the daydream,
And remain independently happy.

I'm. Finally. Happy. Happy.
Independently. Happy.

So paint that picture for me now
Even if it doesn't mean a thing to you now
hate me like you did before now?
Did I hate you like before
like you needed me too
is it all my fault
Did I leave and move on and do I hate you like I did before now?

Just a bunch of lyrics thrown together into a poem-ish thing...